The World's Most High-Profile Elected Invalid

I've never understood the entertainment value catholics seems to wring from standing in St. Peters Square on Easter Sunday. I'm also puzzled by catholics eagerness to see the Pope in the flesh.


I started this thought train after reading the pretty unanimous reviews of the first Formula One race of the season. Formula One has for a long time had the problem of keeping people interested. The nature of Formula One for the competitors is to be as dominant as possible whereas the entertainment for fans is to be extracted from tight competition. That's not exclusive to Formula One of course, that's pretty much a standard for any televised sport, the only difference is that the amount of money tied into certain teams being dominant is too great to end up doing anything about it.


So the F1 big wigs at the FIA decided to change the rules, and then change them again, and then again... The rules have been changed so many times to so many levels of success that most of the anticipation felt before a new F1 season doesn't regard which driver or team are going to win, but whether the season will be worth watching at all. The rights holder, Bernie Ecclestone, points to "the spectacle" of the event as the thing that keeps it in business.


Formula One is struggling to keep its fans interested, but maybe it should have taken the advice from the Vatican. The Vatican schedule for Easter Sunday has never changed, indeed "the spectacle" of His Eminence's presence is enough to draw tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of Christians from around the world. Far from running around at 200mph producing 150dB, all the Pope needs to do is to sit in a very expensive chair and look old and frail, and people will flock back next year (and spend more money). Some will wave banners and sing like football hooligans. It's a very strange sight, and quite disturbing to see so many very obviously mad people collected in one area. I'm reading "Cell" by Stephen King at the moment and the parallels are frightening.


Personally, I've never seen the Pope move independently. I've always imagined that he was moved around  on a sack truck to photo-opportunistic places around the Vatican, or for longer journeys he's moved around in the Popemobile (proof that money can't buy style). When he needs to sit down there are three lockable pivots replacing his hip and knees which allow him to bend. His arms and direction his head faces in are controlled by Barry, his personal bodyguard of fifteen years who has a remote control around his neck. Set-up for particularly important photo shoots can take anything up to four hours. This one took an hour and a half because it was difficult to get him to balance with his hands together in from of him while leaning forward. I suppose this is a "spectacle" as well, but in the same way as the pyramids rather than F1. Although the pyramids were actually built and physically exist and can be proved, as opposed to the Pope's standing which is a fabrication.


Formula One and catholicism have something else in common. Both have huge numbers of fans flocking to see someone dieing...